Grandma would be proud

Well, my new knitting blog is up and running. I've posted two patterns so far, one for the freakin cool gauntlets you see below, and one for a pair of baby legwarmers I've pre-emptively made for my pending spawn. I'm working on a baby blanket right now; that should be coming next week-ish. Blankets are time consuming, bitches. Also apparently Brittany wants arm-length gauntlets, so I'll have to work something up for that needy whore too.

So the blog is http://knitpicky-knits.blogspot.com/, and I've already been linked on one of those web-wide pattern clearing house sites that I like to stalk on a near-daily basis for inspiration. Knitting Pattern Central has posted links to both patterns. Not that it takes great talent to get linked there, but I'm still stoked.

In more good news, Brittany has recently emerged from the giant rock she was living under for several months (she got a new computer). I'm sure as soon as she gets a break from work she'll return to her number one priority. I'm sure.

purrrrrrrrrrrrr

Well, I said I wanted a pair for myself so I went ahead and made some. Screw it. I wanted.

These are made of 100% baby alpaca. The Andean trekker’s spawn, if you will. They’re so warm and soft it’s quite lovely. I went with a really pretty indigo blue color that doesn’t quite translate well on my shitty Fuji camera. The weight is very similar to worsted, but there’s a halo on it that adds some extra puff. I probably should have made these a stitch or two smaller than I did, but it’s not bad. Just roomy.

I opted not to make thumbs on this one. Just the holes. I did this because I didn’t want to take them off; I wanted to be able to just slip my thumb out and slide the gauntlet up my arm if I needed to do something like eat or pee. Laziness, but it works for me.

Anyway I pulled this pattern right out of my bottom. And because it’s a bit more complicated than stockinette stitch, I had to keep notes for the first time ever, so that I could make the right hand match the left hand. I’m not used to keeping notes. It felt weird.

So I wrote a pattern. My first ever, mostly because I hate patterns. But I see how they can come in handy now. I won’t post it here, because no one here really cares and I know it. And that’s okay. I’ve been thinking about that lately, and I have decided to start an actual knitting blog. That way I won’t bore you foodies, and I might tap into some kind of knitting underworld that I don’t yet know of. I know I like getting inspiration from other people’s creations, so why not give something back.

So far I’ve set up the bones of the blog but I haven’t posted my first pattern yet. I think my first will be these gauntlets because they are rad. I have been wearing them nearly nonstop for two days now. My next bit of selfish knitting will be a shorter pair that I can wear while knitting or hanging out at home. For some reason, full gauntlets feel too dressy when I’m braless in a pair of sweats.

If you want to follow me there, please do. I’ll be at knitpickyknits but I’ll still post here, mostly because I can’t abandon Brittany. She totally sucks at blogging.

Thumbs up

My family recently nixed the typical Christmas gift-giving headache in favor of a white elephant exchange. Always a fun time, unless of course you’re the one to end up with the breast pump from 1986, or the Lionel Richie LP. Last year I went home with the home neck traction kit….literally, a neck brace that you attach to a ceiling or door frame and hope not to somehow disconnect your spine. Luckily for me, we also do “hostess gifts”, or more accurately, homemade or otherwise heartfelt little ditties for the women, while the menfolk satisfy themselves with whiskey and pay no attention. Personalized, hand-knitted items are perfect for this, so I'm set.

For my Mom this year, I opted to create a pair of gauntlets. I totally thought I had made up this concept (after years of cutting thumb-holes into my long-sleeved shirts) until I was looking online one day and found a plethora of patterns for these fingerless arm/wrist warmers. I very rarely use a pattern when I knit anyway, so I told them all to eff-off and made these up as I went along. …stealin' my idea.

These are knitted on the round, in a blend of 50% wool, 50% alpaca so they’re sure to be super warm and comfortable. My Mom is into the Rockabilly thing (whatever that is) so I chose red and black stripes with some cool vintage buttons that actually function. Yeah, I learned buttonholes. Yeah, I’m rather proud of myself.

I started with a straight-knitted black ribbing, then joined it together in the round leaving some overlap (for the button), and carried the red and black stockinette stitch up to the knuckles, taking a break to knit straight stockinette for a few lines to form the thumb hole, then joining it back up again. The very top is a repeat of the black ribbing. Then I picked up stitches on the thumb hole and knitted the short thumb on the round. The thumb is kinda shaped, with a few decreases thrown in there for comfort. Then I wove in all the loose ends and sewed on a cool black button. Done. Warmth for Mama, and she can still show off her rings.

Now I need a pair of these for myself, cuz my holey long sleeve shirts are decidedly unclassy.

Unfortunately I neglected to photograph Brittany's gift before wrapping it so hopefully she'll model it in front of a camera soon and I'll share. Cuz it was pretty rad too.

Worst. s-i-l. Ever.

Yeah, I’m kind of an ass. My brother in law had a birthday in September, 2 days after mine so I’m sure to always remember it, and I totally dropped the ball on getting his present finished on time. Cuz I suck. In my defense, just going through the motions of propelling myself around with the use of my legs and feet was enough of a challenge for me in the first trimester, let alone finishing any knitting projects. I didn’t pick up the needles for like 2 months. It was weird.

But I finally finished the project a few weeks ago, right before a major computer meltdown (of course). And here it is. A totally badass guitar strap for my musically-inclined brother in law, who had been reduced to using a piece of string when he wanted to keep his guitar affixed to his person.

I got the underlying guitar strap from a pawn shop. I was prepared to pay some American dollars for it, but the nice lady gave it to me for free. Probably just to get rid of the hideous thing, which we found at the bottom of a box of mismatched golf gloves and pieces of velcro. If Trevor is ever to remove the lovely knitted cover of his new guitar strap, he will see various airbrushed, pastel-toned shapely women’s legs decorating the canvas. Similar to the lamp in A Christmas Story, only not as tasteful.

The cool thing is that the leather pieces on each side that connect the strap to the guitar are red rather than the usual black, so it’s a bit more interesting when they peek through. I knitted a sock-slash-slipcover using grey and dark blue worsted wool in stripes. It was knitted on the round so there was no seaming required, and the freebie guitar strap was just pulled right through.

And if he ever decides he prefers the 1980s style shapely female appendages to the stripes, he can always take the slipcover off and use it as a scarf. Bonus.

Turd Ferguson gets off the couch...but just for a minute

Lookit me, I did something productive. My pregnancy cravings so far have been incredibly boring and somewhat embarassing. Soup is the biggest thing, all kinds of soup. Including condensed, fresh and steaming from the microwave. And it’s summer. But when I feel kinda classy, I am ravenous for thai food. There’s a place near my house (proximity is a must at this point) that makes fantastic spring rolls, and I crave them fortnightly.

CK is not a big fan of thai food, which, yes, has put a burden on our marriage at times. I could eat it every day, but he gets saturated after our quarterly visit. Thus, I either do the take-out thing while he eats his own food, or we have to figure something else out. Like this homemade spring roll.

It’s not as good as the restaurant version. Appropriate zesty dipping sauces really make a difference there. I didn’t have enough energy to make peanut sauce after standing and chopping vegetables assembly-line style, and we were out of hoisin. So I had to make due with soy and some leftover wasabiyaki. Also, the restaurant version is rolled much tighter. I don’t know how they do that. I think I was nervous about puncturing the rice paper and rolled them too gently.

Aside from that, they were basically the same as the restaurant’s. Very simple, not fussy with the innards. Lettuce, rice noodles, a strip of baked tofu, and matchstick cuts of carrots (from the garden, ooh) and cucumber. I changed it up by adding a slice of avocado, cuz I live life on the edge. Cilantro would have been good too, and I’ve had it in other versions, but I didn’t have any.

This held me over for a few days, but I’m already feeling the urge to go back for their rolls, and maybe some fried tofu stir fry. I just can’t duplicate their fried tofu.

Hey, maybe I’ll stand in front of the stove to make dinner next week. We’ll see.

Spill the Bean with Bacon Soup

Alright, I have to admit that we suck epic proportions of blog. Honestly, we had much better intentions when we decided to join forces on this bitch. Brittany keeps contracting computer viruses (she’s such a slut), so she’s been rendered pretty much useless for now.

For my part, I can now officially tell the world (aka, our 3 readers) that I got all preggers n shit and the first trimester was a whore. Hence the completely non-entertaining rant about Kevin Costner. I’m sorry, I just hate that guy.

I’m hoping the second trimester means more energy and more home cooking cuz I’m getting real irritated with myself for wanting nothing more than canned soup and otter pops. Everything I read says I’ll feel better, but then I’m not all that normal. So far the Thundercat is a total bully fetus and is sucking my life force like some kind of high powered sucking…thing.

So stay tuned, please. I promise we’ll come back soon with more food, dirty shenanigans and hullabaloo. And I promise not to complain too much about how bad my boobs hurt and how many times I woke up to pee last night (it was a lot).

please stop it, Kevin Costner.

From Google Images

So I just finished watching Dances With Wolves for the first time ever. I know, it's a movie everyone has to see, and I kept hearing how wonderful it is bla bla bla. But seriously, that was total crap. As producer, director, and the main actor, Kevin Costner had sprayed his pee all over it too, so he has no excuse. Does his definition of "epic" really just mean "long"? I mean c'mon. I know I'm a bit behind the times on this one, but gawd. I want my 4 hours back please.

And really, has Kevin Costner ever made anything good? Remember Waterworld? Terrible, just terrible.

People should stop paying him to do this stuff. It's just not right.