stoopid knits cables

Hi, it's me again. I hope you’re all enjoying the smutty crap Brittany shoots out her word-hole as much as I am. I never knew she could be such a judgmental jerk. How fun.

So, knitting. Again. I know, and I’m sorry. But you guys should really take it up so I can talk about it without feeling like a total asshole. Seriously, it does wonders for stress and Christmas presents.

Today’s installment is cables. You know, like those ugly sweaters the yuppies wear with asgots at the country club? Or something like that, anyway.

I was putting off cables as long as I could out of cowardice. They scared me. They looked so complicated, and I didn’t really understand how a third needle could possibly make the act of knitting any simpler. I mean, I have two hands and two needles. Mathematically, that works out pretty well. But introduce a third, weird little curvy one into the mix and what am I supposed to do? So I had a pep talk with myself and decided it was about time I grew some balls. Big-ass knitting balls.

Turns out, it’s not so bad once you get the hang of it...

ANDEAN TREKKER
This cloche hat was my first attempt, hence the subtleness of the cable. I wanted to be able to abort mission and try something else if the cable didn’t work. The hat is knitted straight in a ribbed stitch, seamed up and gathered on top in the round to finish. The cable accent covers up the seam. This is baby alpaca, which I have decided I want to be touching my body at all times. It feels so effing good. It is, after all, the Andean trekker. …if you will.

SEAFOAM
Another slouch. ‘Cept this one has a thicker cabled band that looks like a wave. The buttons on this one are seashell. The color of the yarn is greener than it turned out in pictures; it’s spozda be turquoisey-blue.

BROWNIE
This has a braided cable band, which is just a scosh more difficult than the normal rope cable. There are two different cabling directions to keep track of, working together in the same pattern to make it look like a braid. This slouch is similar to the rest, but the hat part has a woven stitch which makes for a stiffer drape so it's not as hang-ey. The yarn here is a wool-acrylic blend with bits of colored tweed.

BUTTER
After finally figuring out the whole cabling thing, I wanted to make a cloche hat that had a couple different kinds of cables. This one has a braided cable down the center with two tight rope cables on either side. This is knitted straight, seamed up then finished on the round like the blue cloche, but I allowed a bit of overlap and sewed little white buttons all the way up. This one is 100% wool and looks like it would be kinda itchy, but totally isn’t.

So I think I've finally mastered the elusive cable. Next I want to try a basic ribbed band with the hat part in a cable pattern. We'll see how that works out. And no, I'm still not done with hats. But as soon as I am, you'll be the second or third to know.